Most of you that have been following my blog for a while now, know about how our 14 year old dog, Roscoe went through an extremely trying year. He was doing fine and then all of a sudden he started losing his balance and he progressively got worse until his body shut down and he became completely paralyzed. He was not able to walk, hold his head up to eat or drink on his own, he could not even stand up to use the restroom on his own. For almost 8 months, we did everything for him, held him up while he used the restroom, hand-fed him all of his food & water- whatever he needed, we did. The husband and I would go on daily walks so Roscoe could get some sunshine & fresh air and I would carry him around in a baby sling. We had to give up going to events, vacations, weekend trips- there was no way that we were going to entrust him with anyone, especially with the kind of shape he was in. But when you truly love someone, you give up what you have to & be there for them through good and bad times.
It got to a point to where Roscoe developed a bronchial infection and was coughing incessantly through the day & night- at that point, we thought he was going to die. Throughout this entire time, family and even strangers told me that I may have to let him go, no matter how much I wanted to hold on. And hold on I did, I cried and prayed to God day and night declaring healing over Roscoe's body..I declared that God was going through his body taking out all of the bad cells and replacing them with good, healthy cells. I kept believing and praying, even when it looked hopeless.
I turned to God in every way, reading Psalms, reading Joel Osteen's Book "I declare" -I prayed every declaration that applied to what we were going through. Knowing that Roscoe was so helpless & sick and I couldn't help him, devastated me. Even after selling our house and in the planning process of building a new home, part of me could not be happy because Roscoe was so sick. How could I dare be happy when my baby might be dying? I didn't even care about our new home if Roscoe couldn't be a part of it..
Through the entire 8 months, I was also extremely hurt because out of all of my family- maybe one person called us to ask us how Roscoe was doing a couple of times. My phone never rang, I never received any texts or emails checking up on us and to see how Roscoe was faring. To be truly honest, it made me angry that they didn't care about what we were going through- so I was dealing with that at the same time. I felt abandoned and left all alone..
These song lyrics tell a story of how I was feeling during our struggle with Roscoe..
Have Your Way - song by Brit Nicole
Feels like I've been here forever
Why can't You just intervene?
Do You see the tears keep falling?
And I'm falling apart at the seams
Why can't You just intervene?
Do You see the tears keep falling?
And I'm falling apart at the seams
But You never said the road would be easy
But You said that You would never leave
And You never promised that this life wasn't hard
But You promised You'd take care of me
But You said that You would never leave
And You never promised that this life wasn't hard
But You promised You'd take care of me
So I'll stop searching for the answers
I'll stop praying for an escape
And I'll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
Just have Your way, just have Your way
I'll stop praying for an escape
And I'll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
Just have Your way, just have Your way
When my friends and my family have left me
And I feel so ashamed and so cold
Remind me You take the broken things
And turn them into beautiful
And I feel so ashamed and so cold
Remind me You take the broken things
And turn them into beautiful
Even if my dreams have died
And even if I don't survive
I'll still worship You with all my life
You love me, have Your way
I'll still worship You with all my life
You love me, have Your way
Even through it all, I never gave up hope on Roscoe, I never stopped praying & I refused to take him to the vet to have him put down. Several people suggested it to me, but deep down in my heart, something told me not to do it..something was just really wrong about bringing our baby of 14 years for someone else to take his life. I knew that if God were going to take Roscoe from us, that he would do it peacefully and let him go in his sleep. I know this because I cried to God and asked him to please take Roscoe peacefully if he ever had to go. And I believe that as my heavenly Father, he would never take Roscoe from me in a traumatic way that would hurt me so deeply.
At one point, I finally gave Roscoe fully over to God and told him that if it was his will, to take Roscoe- that I would let him go, that I just wanted Roscoe to be at peace. To let him go, would be the most difficult thing that I have would ever have to do in my life, but I trusted in God and knew that he loved me and wanted nothing but the best for me..
Not long after I prayed that, we noticed Roscoe starting to hold his head up and eat on his own some, then he started walking on his own, little by little. Until finally he was able to walk on his own and use the restroom all by himself! One thing that my husband and I had talked about missing the most, was Roscoe being our little shadow, following us from room to room and now Roscoe follows us around the apartment like he used to.. What a blessing!
One lesson out of many, that I learned from all of this, is that sometimes the things that annoy you in life, one day you will miss when you no longer have them. I hate to admit this, but we used to get frustrated with Roscoe constantly scratching on the door wanting to go out..but now, when he does that, I just smile and thank God for it! It's amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye..so enjoy the little things in life..you never know when they could be gone in the next second..
Even after 1 month of Roscoe's healing, I am still in shock. Even though I prayed and believed for Roscoe's healing, it was hard to see the light when I was in the middle of the darkness and month after month, nothing seemed to change. But I held on and never gave up on Roscoe and I never gave up on God- I had all of the faith in the world that he was going to see me through. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep going and never give up, even when it seems like you will never get there..
{Roscoe hates having his picture taken, so this is not the best, but it shows how he can stand up on his own}
I don't care what anyone says or what reasons they give for the reason Roscoe walking again-but I know that it is only GOD that could have healed his body like that!! God is so good and so merciful- every day that I wake up, I thank him for Roscoe's healing. Every opportunity that I get, I tell people about Roscoe and how God has healed him! God knew how much we loved Roscoe and couldn't bear to part with him and he loved us enough to let Roscoe stay with us for a little while longer. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"
The moral of the story is, no matter what you may be going through or if things look hopeless, like they will never change for the better. DON'T ever give up hope- keep praying, keep believing in God's word- he wants to give you the desires of your heart. The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy, but GOD comes so that we may have life abundantly!!
"For I know the plans that I have for you, for good and not evil" Jeremiah 29:11
Is there something that looks hopeless in your life that you are praying for?
