Sunday, November 9, 2014

Destin Weekend//






I was trying so hard not to laugh because this seagull totally photo-bombed our picture! haha

























Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Weekend Trip to Destin Florida!

Last weekend, we made a spontaneous trip to Destin, Florida with my husband's Mother and her Friend- best decision ever!!

Day 1:





I love Forever 21



My husband bought a Christmas Gift for me from Coach



Williams Sonoma


We didn't have a plan, so I checked with Trip Advisor on my iPhone and this place had over 1200 reviews!


They had a $4 happy hour special so I had two of these- so good!! 


Now I know why they had some many great reviews- the Large Captain's Platter is to die for- oh my gosh!! I am thinking about making a trip back just to visit Back Porch again!!




I'll be back tomorrow with Day 2!!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Life Lately//



Life has been crazy hectic- I haven't even had the time or the energy to blog. (We even skipped the invite to the Biggest Loser Grand Opening in Amelia Island to meet Jessie Pavelka- that was sooo hard to miss!!) Today, I am using my lunch break to blog- it's about the only free time that I have lately. The weekend was great- we were able to accomplish so much the last few weekends- I thought it would be fun to give an update on everything.

//Dining Room + chairs purchase- we now have a dining room table to have dinner!!
//Vanity table + chair purchase- I am no longer sitting on the floor doing hair & makeup- thank goodness!!
// Wine Rack chest purchase
//Ordered more tile- picked up this weekend
//Ordered more wood floors- they were delivered last week
// Yard-work- borrowed my Mom's riding mower & push mower (ours stopped working) & did a clean up a couple of weekends ago- it took us the entire weekend to get the yard looking decent + we loaded an entire truck-load of bricks & concrete to throw away. Maintaining 3 acres of land is no easy task!!
//Cleaned Garage out some- threw out some things
//Had a Bon-fire + Beer night - just the hubby & I -we burned all of the branches + sticks that we picked up from working in the yards

We still have some things left to do- the main things are to put down the remaining wood flooring, the shower rod + curtain and the hard-board siding. We still have small things left to do like interior/exterior trim and more closet shelving, but we will do those later once the big things are finished.

I have to say, I am so proud of my husband, he works a full-time job all day and he comes home every day and works on either the exterior siding or putting down flooring. It's not easy to come home to work again after you've already worked all day, not to mention also working the entire weekend with only a 30-minute break here and there. My husband amazes me all of the time- he is the best gift that God ever gave me- but I will save that for another day//

Once the house is done, we will be enjoying our weekends, going on vacation and enjoying ourselves! I personally am so excited to be finished- we have been working way too hard and not playing any and I'm starting to go a little stir-crazy. A vacation is definitely in the works for Thanksgiving week!!

What are you plans for Thanksgiving? Dinner with family? A vacation?






Friday, October 10, 2014

Fall Favorites//

Lots going on in my life, some new progress with the house and life in general. I will elaborate more about it over the weekend, but for today I just want to keep things simple and post some of my favorite Fall things!









Loving the dark lips for Fall//



Love this but needs to be faux fur//






Burberry Coat- I need this!

Have a lovely weekend!!

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Going through the Motions & Not Really Living Life//



I always second guess myself when I want to come here and write about my true feelings- I just worry that I will come off as a constant complainer, but I never vent to anyone, except to my husband. I just don't have that trusting relationship with anyone enough to open up about things. The only thing that makes me publish these posts is that someone may possibly be going through the same thing and it's nice having someone else to relate to//

So here is what happened Friday afternoon- I ended up working a little later and dropping off some work mail on the way home, I was in the vehicle already stressed out about everything. I had told my husband that I was on the edge, that the tiniest thing would send me over the edge, I literally have been sitting on nerves. I have been having extreme anxiety again with work being so stressful lately, family harassing me and now the house construction is chaos to live in- my husband is doing his best with working full time too and we are trying to save money because we don't have the extra to spend, but it's extremely difficult trying to do all on your own.

Sometimes, I feel like people look to me to take their problems on, but I have my own things to worry about and when I take on my life and other's on my shoulders- I end up being overwhelmed and breaking down. I do not want to be superwoman, but most people don't really know how much that I really do on a daily basis- I never have any time for myself,  I am ready to have some fun and live life and not feel like I am working every second of my life. Lately, I feel like a hamster on a wheel, not going anywhere. I haven't had anytime to breathe, to take care of myself or to focus on my own goals and dreams. I've been staying awake with anxiety, feeling stuck and held back in life- I have so much that I want to do and the stress is starting to show in my weight gain, crying/depression, lack of sleep and being snappy (mostly to my poor husband).

So when we got home, seeing the construction chaos after a long day and working late at work- I was standing at the sink washing dishes and I just had a break down. I told my husband I had to get out of the house and take a walk. I walked and cried and talked to God about all of my problems and stress for about 30 minutes and afterwards I felt so much better. I went to my heavenly Father and he listened to me and I know that he is going to take care of things for me- I am his daughter and I know that he loves me//

You never know what someone is going through, so treat everyone kindly with compassion and fairness. We don't know what battles they may be fighting. I know the battles that I have had to face in life so I treat everyone with love and kindness every day, no matter how bad my day or week has been.

I do plan on being proactive and stop taking on so much at a time and take time to go away and relax. I have to take care of myself or I am no good to anyone. It's easier said than done, when you have an unfinished house and tons of things that need to be done, but I am hoping to take small steps like going out for a couple of hours just to get a breather away from the madness.

All I know is, that I poured my heart out to my heavenly Father and things will get better soon- that I know with all certainty! Write, Vent and Pray- that is my process--it's my therapy//

Do you ever feel like your life is flying by and you are just going through the motions and not really enjoying life?



Monday, September 29, 2014

Progress//



Sorry I have been absent from blogging lately, but I have been extremely busy trying to get the garage cleaned out and organized. The more that I get rid of, the happier that I feel- I hate clutter & unnecessary stuff! An added bonus is that I have made almost $150 so far- definitely saving the extra money for decorating our new home.

I'm also really excited because my husband is putting down wood floors this week!! These are the first wood floors that he has ever put down and I have to say, they really look amazing! It looks like I may be shopping for a dining room table this weekend!! I'm so excited to have dinners at an actual table and not at a computer desk or in front of the TV. It's amazing how sometimes we don't realize how monumental the small things truly are in life until we no longer have them.


#sexyhusband


We still have a long way to go, with the house siding and the shower tile next on the to-finish list, but things are starting to come together. Our house is becoming a home and I am looking forward to the journey//

Hope you are all having a wonderful week!

Monday, September 22, 2014

One of those Days..



I apologize in advance- if you are looking for a happy post, this is not it. I just need to be honest and get some things off of my mind..

Today was not a very good day for me. I'm emotionally spent- dealing with my family and the emotional abuse. It's back and forth, they are nice to me one second, then once I think they really love me and get my hopes up that I will finally have a family that really loves me, that's when they stab me in the heart with their words and lies. I'm so drained from dealing with people who hurt me with no thought for my feelings. When I try and tell them the deep hurt they have put me through, they just over-ride everything that I say and act like it's trivial. They don't even listen and in turn I never heal- it's a vicious cycle and I am so full of sadness. It hurts me that I don't have a family that understands me or loves me for who I am.

It's the most difficult thing, when you don't feel like you have the love and support of your family. Not having their support and love, has caused me so much anxiety and insecurities in my life which I have to constantly pray over. I have so many issues even trusting other people, trusting that they have my best interest at heart. I have a difficult time even being around people now, conversations are like torture for me because I feel like I am always wearing this mask to cover up all of the hurt that I hide deep within. I have to let this go soon, it's eating me up inside to where it's seeping to the outside and I am finding it impossible to hide..

I'm told by my family that I'm too sensitive, that I need to wake up and that everyone else has gone through things too, that I'm not the only one that has gone through difficult times. I understand that other people have been through difficult times, but I believe that everyone deserves a chance to truly be heard and not have someone say things like "You're not the only one" "Other people have it way worse than you" "You need to be thankful"- I deserve to have someone to just say "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that"  or just be there to listen and give me a hug. I have a right to my feelings- I hurt just like everyone else and am actually even more sensitive even though I hide it well. They weren't there for me when I needed them the most in the darkest times in my life. I felt all alone, abandoned, rejected, and unloved- no one should ever be made to feel that way...

I hide my feelings because I am scared to open up and have people hurt me. I would rather keep my walls up than let them down just to have someone let me down, once again. I just don't understand why they have to pull me down and hurt me. Why can't they just love and support me? I have been nothing but kind to them- I have always been there when they needed me. Why would they want to hurt me in return? I just don't get it. Lately, I have lost so much faith in humanity- I see so much selfishness and unkindness in this world and a lack of compassion towards others..

Today was just one sad day out of many days, I will do like I always do and brush it off and go on with my life. I have to learn to love myself and be happy, I deserve to be treated with fairness and kindness. I am proud of myself because this time, I finally stood up for myself and told this person that I was not going to take the abuse anymore. It literally broke my heart when I told them that I needed to not be around them, because this person is my older sibling, but they were unwilling to listen to me and continued to lie and hurt me, even when I practically begged them to love me and to please listen to no avail..I really thought it was going to work this time.

But you can't make someone love you and sometimes, no matter how much it hurts, you just have to take a step back and let go and see if they love you enough to come back. All I can do now, is pray for my family and pray for healing, especially for myself. I know that God is the restorer of all broken things..only He can bring healing and restoration..