I Am Ready//

Lately, I have felt further and further away from God- I am the one that has allowed things to get in between my relationship with God and I miss his presence so much. He didn't leave me, I was the one who backed away from him. I allowed my hurts that I have gone through to make me angry and bitter at life- my family hurting me, my dog passing away, just having to work so hard in life to get back on track, sometimes it all feels unfair.. But instead of focusing at what I don't have..I want to be grateful for what I do have..God has been so good to me when I haven't deserved it.

The realization hit me when God answered a prayer and I realized the beauty of it all. He didn't have to answer that prayer, but his love for me outweighs everything. He didn't say no because of the fact that I didn't deserve it or earn it..he did it because he loves me unconditionally, with no ulterior motives. How amazing is that? I am the apple of his eye...He loves me for me. Instead of searching for that everywhere else, it was right there in front of me all of this time// God was there, patiently waiting for me to come back to him//

Every time I have been broken and at my lowest, enemies attacking me, and feeling like there was no hope left- God was the one who was always there for me. He has never once let me down, every time that I have prayed and cried he has answered. 

I am not entirely sure, but maybe God let Roscoe go on to Heaven because he wanted to grow our relationship and make me stronger. Below is one of the songs that I was listening to and praying along to before Roscoe passed away- notice the lyrics "I let go of all that I have just to have all of you" "And no matter what the cost I will follow you" - Roscoe was the one of the most precious things that I have ever had to let go of- when I tell you that I loved him more than myself, I am not exaggerating in the least bit. Yet, I would give it all up for God.. I will always follow him wherever he leads me. He is the love of my life// 

I am ready for God to take my heart, my life and use it for his good, not my own..I want to be a light, to help the broken, the sad, the helpless and alone..

All I am Lord here before You
Reaching out for more
You're the promise never failing
You are my reward,
Jesus, You are my reward

There's no riches or earthly treasure

That will satisfy
Every longing is for You Jesus
Set this heart on fire
Oh, set this heart on fire

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all

When I'm there in Your glorious presence
Every knee is bowed before You
Hear the sound of heaven singing
You are worth it all

All the saints cry holy holy
Angels singing worthy worthy
Forever I will shout Your praises
You are worth it all

You are worth it all

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You

When I finally reach the end I'll say

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You