What kind of support do you have in your life? Are you surrounded by positive girlfriends, your Mom, sisters who are there for you when you're having difficult times or even just having a friend to hang out with to share in your successes in life?
I have to admit, I've never had supportive women/girlfriends like that. I've always had to be my own biggest supporter, my own coach, I have had to pull myself up by the bootstraps when I'm going through a rough time and give myself pep talks on the days that I'm feeling down. Growing up I was never given compliments & was told on a daily basis that I was the same as everyone else and nothing special. I've never had a woman mentor to lift me up or tell me how amazing I am or what I am capable of and you guys, no matter how much I try to bury that in my subconscious, it really hurts and it has affected my self-worth. It makes me feel like I'm not important or that I don't matter. They say that you don't miss what you've never had, but I have had glimpses of what other women have and I really want that too..
Those days when I sit in my office all alone with no one to talk to or to share things with, is really hard. I am so envious of those women who have girlfriends to go out with to have a glass of wine or to go shopping. I admit that I'm extremely choosy of who I allow to be around me -I only allow myself to have authentic, positive relationships- I don't associate with takers, people who lie, cheat or who pretend to be something they're not- I feel that I should only have people surrounding me that are good for my spirit.
I've had my share of women that have tried to tear me down in my life or tried to bully me- I've never had any positive encouragement from another woman (with the exception of online). Even now, no one in my life ever asks how my business is doing or compliments my weight loss or a new haircut- they honestly don't even know me as a person because they have never taken the time to really know me and I find that extremely sad. I think that I'm an amazing, loving and generous person and I would give anything to help someone else expecting nothing in return. I feel like they have me pegged as one person when I am in fact, the complete opposite, but if they can't dig past the exterior to see the true me, I certainly won't go out of my way to prove myself.
Luckily, I have been blessed with an amazing husband who does lift me up and brag to all of his co-workers about how amazing that I am. But I still miss having having girlfriends to hang out with to talk about girly things. I have always been a big believer in women supporting and loving one another- I have never wanted to be a part of anything less.
The other day on Instagram, this girl accidentally tagged me with some other mean girls who were bullying Carly Waddell from the Bachelor and I was so upset about it. I tagged her and begged her to please remove my name from being grouped with those girls that were making fun of Carly. I find that type of behavior to be so atrocious and don't want anything to do with it. I believe that there are so many different ways that you can bully someone - verbally, giving mean looks, by copying them so excessively until they feel like their identity has been stolen and they no longer feel like themselves or by passive aggressively ignoring someone like they don't exist. Those last two are the worst- I've experienced both and it really really hurts....No one wants to be made to feel like they don't exist or that someone is trying to replace them as if they no longer matter.
Because I know what it's like to feel left out and to feel alone, I have always gone above and beyond to support other women. I am very comfortable giving out compliments or listening when someone needs someone to talk to or wants advice. I know that because of never having those things myself, I am very sensitive to how I treat others and make sure that I always treat people in a kind manner even when they are unkind to me.
It doesn't mean that all women will be best friends or have a compatible friendship- it just means that we have respect for one another and when someone needs help or support- to be there for them. It never hurts to be kind & it doesn't cost anything- so feel free to spread the love to others :) You never know who might being going through a difficult time and could use some support in their life.
This year my prayer is that God sends me some Christian, loving women that are kind and supportive.
Do you have supportive girlfriends or a positive female mentor in your life?