Overwhelmed with Life//

February is quickly coming to an end in a few days and I don't really feel that I accomplished too much this month. Mostly because my husband had food poisoning one week then he got a cold (which he passed on to me) and he also pulled a muscle to the point that he could not walk at all, which caused us a huge setback on the house and getting in shape at the gym- two of my biggest goals for February.  I've cancelled my birthday party plans to go to the beach because he's not in good shape to walk. My husband is still on probation at work and wasn't paid for the 4.5 days he had to be out, so that has been frustrating as well. I'm not sure why everything is hitting us all at once, but I am going to just trust God that he has a reason for us to be going through all of this right now.

I have always had the ability to find the silver lining/blessing in any situation- the Doctor's visit didn't cost us much at all and the prognosis was positive. My husband was just told that he needed to rest and take the prescribed medicine- it could have been much worse. The other positive part was that we were both forced to rest- I am sure that God saw that we have been working ourselves into the ground and that was the only way that he saw that we would actually stop and rest. Also, I have been praying more because I have this extra time and I am usually always on the go. I want to start making more time for God. Nothing in my life is more important than spending time alone with him.

We were able to get a couple of things accomplished before things took a turn for the worse:

//Cleaned out half of the garage and donated 2 truckloads of things to a local charity that helps the less fortunate
//Wood Floors are finished
//Painted the last 3 interior Doors
//Two Doors are framed out with trim and molding
//Appraiser came out and it looks like we are good to go on Home Equity Loan
//House Insurance finally all straightened out
//Gym- we joined the first of February, but have only attended about 10 times

March Goals:
//Leave work stress at work- I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed lately, I take the stress home with me and I feel horrible for giving my husband the worst part of me instead of the best..When I get too overwhelmed I end up having anxiety + breathing problems at night//
//Have a successful 2nd Annual Senior Living Expo- I have been putting 150% into this Expo, so I am expecting an awesome turnout.
//Go to the gym daily (lose 5 lbs.)
//Eat healthier, more green smoothies, salads, more water, etc.
//Celebrate Birthday or move to a later date
//Buy new furniture at IKEA
//Put hardware on closet doors
//Do simple  housework- trim, molding
//Go on a weekend trip to the beach
//Clean out Garage more- donate more items
//Take time out in the mornings to talk to God before I start my day at work
//Purchase Juicer or Vita-mix

Being able to accomplish what we did before my husband got hurt, is a blessing as well. Things may seem rough right now, but I know that God has never let me down in life so far. One of our favorite bible verses as a couple is- "For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." As always, we will put our trust in him and know that everything is going to work out the way that he has planned//

True Love -For Better or Worse//

   

Unfortunately, the hubby and I got so caught up working on our house that we didn't really have time to celebrate Valentine's Day over the weekend. We were trying to get everything finished in time for the appraiser to come out on Tuesday. The worst thing is that my husband pushed himself to the point to where he not only got a cold but also pulled a groin muscle and I was out of work taking care of him most of the week. He literally couldn't walk on Monday- if you could have seen me trying to help him up the 20 + stairs to our house- you would have cried for me and him both.

He was at a point that he couldn't get up to go to the bathroom, basically bed bound,so I have been doing everything for him. Helping him into bed, in and out of the bath tub to soak in Epsom salts (we laughed to keep from crying it was so difficult), ice packs, giving him pain medicine, elevating his leg, bringing him beverages, food- I even made a home-made coconut oil + lavender salve to put on his pulled muscle and gave him massages to speed up the healing process. I would rather myself be in pain than to see my husband in pain- so I will do anything to make him better.

My husband is used to being the strong one, he is always so strong for me, always taking care of me. When my Father passed away and my family mistreated me, he felt like it was his job to step in and protect me and keep me safe. It is extremely difficult for me to see him helpless and the roles being reversed to where I have to be the strong one..I walked in the room the other day and he had broken down because he felt helpless and hated not being able to do anything for himself.  I just hugged him and laid on the bed beside him and prayed over his body for healing.

The honest truth is that I would take his pain if I could- just the thought of him being sick or hurt, scares me to death. I don't want to ever imagine my life without him-he is my best friend, my lover, my strength when I am feeling down or weak- sometimes I don't realize how much of a support that my husband is for me and I don't think he realizes how much that I love and care for him until one of us gets hurt or sick- then everything seems to instantly become clear//

Don't get me wrong, I adore Valentine's Day, but I don't need roses, dinner or gifts to see how much my husband loves me or to show my husband  how much that I love him. For me, loving someone is in the everyday things. Like the other day, I was taking care of him and he said "You're my baby", I thought it was so sweet// Or, the fact that I was joking about looking pretty for the appraiser so that he would give us a good appraisal- my husband said, "Don't look too pretty to where he gets obsessed with you."- I thought that was so sweet that he thought someone else might become obsessed with me (although, I personally don't foresee that being a problem) it's things like that shows me how much my husband loves me.

When we were married 15 1/2 years ago- the vows we spoke were for better or for worse and we both meant every word of it. I know that God put my husband and I together to love and be a support for one another. Both of us bring something to each other's life- I respect and build my husband up and support him and he makes me feel protected and loved. For me, that is what love is-  it's about both sides giving, compromising and loving and taking care of one another.

What makes you feel loved?

Dreams//

The other night I had an interesting dream. I am a person who dreams constantly and 95% of my dreams have a spiritual meaning and purpose. I have had many dreams that I know were given to my by God and I have watched several come to fruition// 

In this dream, I dreamed that  I was walking up to this beautiful brick building with gorgeous details and architecture. It was my new office building and I started walking up the steps- the front doors were beautiful double doors. I walked into my office building which was massive with tall ceilings, almost like a cathedral and I had this beautiful, large office space and there were smaller office spaces as well. My boss came out to see me and asked me to come in his office to speak with him. In my dream, my boss was this very tall, muscular man..his face was obscure, I don't remember what he looked like. I just remember that he had this strong, ultra masculine presence about him. 

I went into his office and sat down in the chair while he sat right beside me, but above me on the desktop and he proceeded to tell me that one of the employees was throwing a tantrum because my office was so much nicer and bigger and he had requested my office. I remember this employee in my dream being lazy and entitled and he had not put in the work like I had, to be in the position that I was in. I was very upset because I had gone above and beyond and worked so hard to be promoted to that nice office. I started to cry and my boss in the dream, held me in his arms and he comforted me. He seemed to not really want to give my office to this guy and I couldn't understand why he would allow this entitled employee to just take everything that I had worked so hard for when he didn't deserve it.

The strangest part, was when he was holding me, the overwhelming love and closeness that I felt for this man- he was so strong and his big arms were wrapped around me protecting me. I have never been held this way in my life...this is going to sound crazy, but it came to me when I awoke that this was GOD holding me..I didn't want to leave his arms. I have never felt more safe and protected in my entire life//

I almost feel like he knew this would hurt me, but he knew in the long run that it was the best thing for me, but he was still sad to see me hurting//

I know ultimately that anything in my future that God has planned for me will be the best for me- I trust him fully and completely with my life// I know that he loves me with an everlasting love and I love him more than anything//

Life Update//

Honestly, our life has been extremely busy + crazy lately. We have just been hustling 24/7 focusing on finishing our house so that we can actually have a life + have some fun instead of working all of the time! Our list is growing shorter and shorter and I'm really looking forward to being done soon// Being an adult is so much work but we are trying to get our life organized so everything starts running more smoothly and less chaotic #notafanofchaos.

Here is what has been going on in the last few weeks:

House:

//We completed the wood flooring

//Home equity loan closing in next couple of weeks- we had to meet with the loan officer after work for 2.5 hours + gather all of the necessary paperwork (not fun-hopefully this is the last time we have to do this)

//Finally got House Insurance all straightened out

//Cleaned out half of the garage & donated to a charity that helps the less fortunate. The hubby & I plan on cleaning out the other half once we finish the house

//Painted 3 bedroom doors

//Touched up paint throughout house- still need to finish touching up the ceiling + 1 more coat

//Currently putting up interior Door Trim + Base Trim + Molding

//Will be purchasing furniture at the end of this month

Career:

//Just had my 2 year Work Anniversary -celebrated at Bacchus Wine Bar with my boss & his wife

//Recently promoted to Office Manager 

//Work has been extremely busy - I took 30 minutes out of my day on Thursday to organize my office and it makes it much easier to keep track of current clients, to do's, filing, etc.

//We have a couple of Seminars coming up the end of February and the 1st of March- I think at this point I have pretty much broken out of my shell// I think I will always be an introverted more reserved person but I am at a point to where I can successfully do my job 

//We are planning our Second Annual Senior Living Expo and we are hoping for a great outcome this year!

Organization:

//Sold Espresso machine + blender + 2 patio lanterns= extra $70

Fun:

//Wine next Friday
//Downtown sidewalk sale- next Saturday (haven't decided if I am going yet)

//Celebrating my birthday at the end of this month (beach + shopping + adventure)

//Hands & Hearts Hoedown end of March 

Other Happenings:

//I stayed at home with my husband last Thursday- he was sick with food poisoning for 1/2 day

//Ordered some natural medicine- I have been extremely exhausted lately + having anxiety at night feeling like I can't breathe so I am hoping that it helps me//

Celebrating my Two-year Work Anniversary!

Today I celebrate my two year work anniversary! Honestly, I can't believe it flew by so fast and it's been an amazing ride!  I've learned so much about Legal/Estate Planning, becoming a Notary Public, marketing, Seminars, graphic design, event planning to name a few. I've grown so much at this job and met some really great people. I've become a much more confident person that is less worried with what others think and I'm excited with the person that I am becoming.

I'm very blessed to have such a nice boss and his wife that have been a huge part of my growth and I love them like family. I know that God placed me on this path for a reason. Even when people around me were telling me that I shouldn't move from my husband's hometown and I shouldn't leave my job at Phoebe - I prayed about it and stepped out in faith with no way of knowing how things were going to turn out, but I put my trust in God. I've learned to always follow God's ways, not man's ways, because he knows best. I am so glad that I listened and trusted in him, even during the rough times, I just tied a knot in my rope and held on and he did not let me down!

I look forward to seeing what the future holds for me and I know that as long as God is in the middle of it that the future is going to be so amazing!