My Life Being Renewed: A Little More Kindness & a Little Less Judgment

A Little More Kindness & a Little Less Judgment

April 7, 2016

Warning: Vulnerable Post Ahead

This morning I received a very hateful review on my new chick lit book. The girl stated in her review that my character is petty, shallow, self-absorbed and entitled. She didn't seem to realize that this is a fiction book; it's not entirely based on my life. The only part that is actually based on my life is the fact that I was in a miserable job  that was making me physically sick and went on a cruise to figure out how to change my life for the better. I wrote this book because it was fun and opposite my life in so many ways. I wish I had Sophies cushy life where she ends up with her dream job paying six figures while living the life of luxury. But that's just not my life.

Her review really hurt me. Mainly because I'm none of those things that she spoke about. I grew up in poverty, with nothing. There were plenty of days when we didn't have much food to eat and my Mom would go without so that I could eat. Growing up, I lived in a very dilapidated home. It was not a nice home by any means. I remember leaky roofs, cracked windows. I could go on and on. I was made fun of at school because of my goodwill clothing and because I didn't fit in. One day, my Mom showed up in her beat-up car and I hid because I was embarrassed for all of the cool kids to know that I was poor. Christmas and Birthdays were the same- gifts that my Mom had sewn or bought from goodwill. Or sometimes, donated items from the Church. Growing up, I never had anything new.

I've had to fight for everything in my life and nothing has ever been given to me. Quite the opposite; I've mostly had people take from me instead of support me in my life. After reading the review, I broke down crying. I'm a sensitive person and there's nothing that I hate more than when someone views me oppositive of who I am truly am. Anyone who has taken the time to really get to know me; knows that I am the opposite of shallow and I am very kind and compassionate. I actually hate small talk and would rather deep conversations about life.

No one wants to read a book about a poor girl who is made fun of and has struggled all of her life and still working hard trying to become a successful business owner and writer. Who wants to read about how a girl who has been abandoned by her own family? Or a girl that goes through an entire year of depression when she loses her dog of 15 years? Or maybe how she stays in a miserable job where she is bullied until she gets physically sick? Those things are just too heavy and don't make for a good story. I wanted to write a fun, light book. My life is heavy at times and writing this book actually helped me get away from my problems for a little while.

But in her defense, this reviewer doesn't know anything about my struggles in life and the dark times that I've been through. I'm not going to retaliate because it's not my style at all. Maybe she is going through something herself or maybe she had a bad experience with a self-absorbed person. I have no idea.That's why I personally refrain from being judgemental of others; because you never know what battle someone else may be fighting. Yes, their life may look amazing from the outside. That may be just the part that they allow you to see. You don't know what their life is truly like or what they go through. Just because someone may seem to have a perfect life, doesn't mean that they don't deal with depression or insecurities. Can we please stop judging one another? Why not be more supportive and help one another?

The one great part of this was the support that I received from other women. One of the reviewers was so kind and supportive and emailed to tell me not to let the review get me down. And when I posted to the Being Boss Facebook group about the hateful review, so many women surrounded me with love and support. It's so nice to know that there are women out there that are loving and want to support other women. I love that!!

My hope is that we all start supporting one another and being more compassionate. We are all fighting our own battles. Why not help one another along the way? I always want to be that person that leaves another person feeling happier and motivated after leaving my presence. Even when I have a bad day or I'm stressed out; I make sure to always help others feel good about themselves.

Think of some ways that you can show someone kindness today...


  1. I do reviews often and I have to say I go out of my way to not be negative. I envy people who can write...I'd love to be able to write the stories in my head. That being said my thing for this year is to be less critical and it's hard! I guess that reviewer isn't working on the same thing! Don't take it to heart!

    1. Deb, I totally agree! I do different reviews for TripAdvisor and Amazon and have never left a hateful review like the one that I received. I did do some research and even the best selling Authors have negative reviews so I am in good company! At least you are working on it; that is so awesome! :)

    2. I follow many authors and they do mention the bad reviews often. In my reviews I'm always honest just not negative but people seem to want to belittle others...I'm sure it has something to do with jealousy. I also write reviews for Amazon books and any place we've visited. :)

  2. Yes, I've noticed that. I think it just comes with the territory but I wasn't aware of it until it actually happened to me! :)