The realization hit me when God answered a prayer and I realized the beauty of it all. He didn't have to answer that prayer, but his love for me outweighs everything. He didn't say no because of the fact that I didn't deserve it or earn it..he did it because he loves me unconditionally, with no ulterior motives. How amazing is that? I am the apple of his eye...He loves me for me. Instead of searching for that everywhere else, it was right there in front of me all of this time// God was there, patiently waiting for me to come back to him//
Every time I have been broken and at my lowest, enemies attacking me, and feeling like there was no hope left- God was the one who was always there for me. He has never once let me down, every time that I have prayed and cried he has answered.
I am not entirely sure, but maybe God let Roscoe go on to Heaven because he wanted to grow our relationship and make me stronger. Below is one of the songs that I was listening to and praying along to before Roscoe passed away- notice the lyrics "I let go of all that I have just to have all of you" "And no matter what the cost I will follow you" - Roscoe was the one of the most precious things that I have ever had to let go of- when I tell you that I loved him more than myself, I am not exaggerating in the least bit. Yet, I would give it all up for God.. I will always follow him wherever he leads me. He is the love of my life//
I am ready for God to take my heart, my life and use it for his good, not my own..I want to be a light, to help the broken, the sad, the helpless and alone..