Hello lovelies! I feel like lately that I am always apologizing for being absent from blogging, but my life has been chaotic and I have been dealing with some health issues that started in the last few months and I haven't really had any energy left to blog at the end of the day. Because I have not been feeling well, I have been making some big life changes to reduce my daily stress.
Not to go into too much detail, but I started noticing that everything that I ate was making me sick, all of a sudden I started developing food allergies where certain foods made my heart race at an abnormal rate (to the point that I thought I was having a heart attack). On top of that, I started having extreme anxiety, chronic fatigue and depression. So I have been making changes in my life to try to begin the process of healing my body.
Some things that I have started doing that seem to help:
Eliminate allergy causing foods- soy, nuts, grains (not even gluten free), dairy, sugar, alcohol (I did have a small glass diluted with organic juice the other day..oops)
Changed my Diet - now I only eat organic grass-fed meats, low sugar fruits and vegetables (I feel like I'm starving most of the time)
Vitamins-daily intake of probiotics, enzymes, chlorophyll
Eliminated the gym (it was causing me added stress trying to keep up- every day carrying gym bag to work, remember water, snacks, etc- for me it just became a burden)
Slow down- I have been doing way too much and feel overwhelmed like I am drowning. I am not taking on anything right now until my body rests and I start to feel better. Right now I am taking one day at a time and just doing what I can.
Eliminated Work Meetings- Meetings and social events cause me extreme anxiety and seem to make me even more sick. I made the mistake of attending a lunch meeting this Thursday and my stomach was in knots the entire time- I instantly regretting going.
Stop being a Type-A Perfectionist- honestly being such a workaholic and extreme goal setter is physically killing me. I am working on becoming a more laid back person and not let things get to me. Very difficult to do, especially since I have been Type A since I can remember.
Eliminate drama/people who cause me stress- I can't be around anyone that causes me additional stress or anyone who upsets me. I need positive support around me right now.
Eliminate Toxins- toxins put added stress on the body, so I have been staying away from anything that has toxins- my biggest problem is out in the community dealing with smoke, paints, perfumes. My home has been 100% organic for about 15 years because I have a low tolerance for chemicals in any forms. This week, the paint crew painted the front of our office and I had a headache every day for the entire week.
Planning a vacation soon- we are planning a beach weekend as soon as we get the house painted.
The positives of this experience has been the fact that I can't stomach much of anything and I have lost 10 lbs in the last couple of months, but being a true foodie I really miss eating. The other positive is that I have learned so much more about health and different ways that I can help make my body the best that it can be. There have been lots of negatives- dealing with depression and anxiety along with chronic fatigue is extremely difficult and people sometimes think that you can just say "snap out of it" or they think that you are feeling sorry for yourself. If I hadn't gone through this myself, I may have thought the same thing- but it's not that simple. The bad thing is that I am a master at covering up how I truly feel-I have always been the one to put on a mask when I feel sad or when I don't feel well. I am so good at it, that I can fool anyone into thinking that I am the most happiest, well-adjusted, healthiest person in the world. That has definitely been a double-edged sword for me.
Today, at work- I heard a song that I listened to when our dog, Roscoe was paralyzed for 8 months- at a time in my life when I felt hopeless, heartbroken and depressed. I remembered what we went through with him and how sad it was to walk that journey and how I felt all alone, it was the darkest place that I have ever been through in my life. But God was right there holding out his hand and he walked me through it..
Feels like I've been here forever
Why can't you just intervene?
Do you see the tears keep falling?
And I'm falling apart at the seams
But you never said the road would be easy
But you said that you would never leave me
And you never promised that this life wasn't hard
But you promised you would take care of me
So I'll stop searching for the answers
I'll stop praying for an escape
And I'll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
When my friends and family have left me
And I feel so ashamed and so cold
Remind me You take the broken things
And turn them into beautiful
Even if my dreams have died
And even if I don't survive
I'll still worship You with all of my life
No matter what I go through in life, I will continue to praise God through it and always turn to him. Without God, I could never survive this life. He has been my shelter, my protector, my provider- He's my everything and I love Him above everything in this life. Nothing will take me away from Him//
I plan on taking this trial that God has allowed me to go through to allow me to become a stronger person. I am going to pray and declare healing for my body and the strength to get through it and one day I hope that I can use what I have been through to help someone else. The more trials that I go through, the more that I have compassion for someone who is going through the same thing. When you know what it's like to be heart broken, sick, rejected, mistreated and hopeless- that's when you can have compassion for others and reach down and help someone else up. I know that God has allowed this for a reason- I will not let it defeat me, but instead I will use it to grow into a stronger Christian. God has a plan for my future- plans for good not evil, plans for a hope and a future. I want God's dream for my life, not my own and not anyone else's. I am excited to see what he has in store for my life!
