Today I choose...
November 25, 2013
I hadn't planned on writing a blog post about this, but after responding on someone's blog about the subject- I have been seeing it more and more all over social media and it's driving me crazy!
What is it that is driving me crazy- you ask? The infamous quote "Hurting People Hurt People".
Here is my response to a blog that had this quote & they went on to explain how when people are hurting that they lash out and hurt others and that we should feel compassion for them. While I am all for being compassionate, at some point, you can't continue to allow people to abuse you and hurt you just because they have been hurt/are hurting.
So here is My response:
// "I had to respond when I saw the title of this post on twitter. I do not believe that this is ALWAYS the case- that hurting people hurt other people and pull them down. I say this because I have been through so much hurt in my life from bullying to emotional, verbal & other abuse, to being excluded from things and being put down. Because I have been through so much hurt in my life and unfortunately know all too well how it feels- I would never want anyone else to feel that way- I would much rather lift people up instead of pulling them down.
It is my opinion that bullying and hurting others- whether it is through humiliation,ignoring/exclusion, spreading rumors/gossiping, making fun of someone or verbal abuse- it's a character flaw and hurting people should not get a free pass to mistreat others just because they have been hurt. I also believe that in some instances the bullying and put-downs comes from a place of jealousy or unhappiness in their own life and NOT hurt, sometimes it's more a case of being insecure about themselves and feeling like someone is prettier or smarter or has more money, etc. so in turn they bully to pull that person down and to make them look bad. And sometimes, it's just because they want to fit into a clique and feel popular, so they find someone to pick on to make themselves look bigger. I know all of this, because I've been the victim of it in more than one occasion- I know how it is to hurt so I refuse to do it in return to others."
In saying that, I do have compassion for people who have been through hurt in their lives, believe me if anyone knows how it feels, I do. I have found that the majority of the time it's usually best to just take a step back and pray for that person, especially if they are going through a phase where they are lashing out at others. It used to drive my husband crazy because when people would hurt me and make rude comments, I used to take up for them and say- honey, I feel so bad for them, they are only hurting me this way because they are insecure and they must be hurting deep down.. and he would respond, yes, but look at how much they are hurting you- what about your feelings? And he was right, shouldn't I love myself enough to not allow someone to keep hurting me over and over and not keep making excuses for them?
To see people that are hurting makes me very sad and I have always been the type that wants to save everyone!! But I'm finally learning that for the sake of my self & my sanity- to take a step back and pray for those people who are hurting. Whatever you do,please do not try to jump in the water and save them from drowning- I've done that too many times and I always get pulled under and start to feel drowned myself..
Today, if you are one of those hurting people- I want you to choose to stop the cycle of abuse- repeat after me-
"What others have done to hurt me- I will not do in turn to hurt others. Instead, I will choose to lift others up and inspire, not pull down and humiliate. I choose to stop the cycle of abuse." And if you are one of those people being bullied, take a step back and pray for that person who is hurting, but don't get drowned and consumed. We all have a choice in how we treat others and I want to be remembered in life by helping others and being kind.
We all need to take a stand and if we see/hear someone being bullied, gossiped about or made fun of, etc.- please stand up and say something. If we don't, we are just as much of a bully as they are. Let's be a part of the solution, not the problem..
Are you the Bully or the Bullied or have you been in the presence of either?